My Struggle V
by Erica Dawn
Summary: It's my post series baby fic!


My name is Maggie Mulder. Sometimes, when I talk a lot, my mom complains that I take after my dad in all the wrong ways but I know she doesn't really mean that. I always thought we were fairly normal, not that I had a lot of friends to compare us to. It turns out my upbringing has been a bit odd but that's better explained from the beginning.

April 20, 2018

"I just wish...I wish we had a body to bury like Skinner. I know what you said but..." Mulder trailed off at Scully's expression. He knew her so well he knew what she was thinking and it hit him. She'd lied.

"There's no body because William's alive, isn't he?" he asked, wanting her to respond. She nodded. Anger welled up in him. What was the point of that speech?

He rubbed a hand against his face, unsure of how to proceed. It wasn't healthy to upset her.

"Mulder, Mulder," Scully spoke and took his hand. "You didn't see what I did. He pretended to be you-"

"I did see that. I saw that son of a bitch shoot him," he interrupted.

"No, he pretended to be you with me, begged me to stop looking for him. It was the only way everything could work and he could be free. Everyone had to think he was dead, even you. We had to sell it for everyone else. I knew he was alive. I felt him and he felt me and..." she trailed off before looking at her abdomen. "I think he knew, I think he knew about the baby before I did. He's scared and he just wants to protect us, all three of us."

"What do we even do now?" Mulder asked. "People our age are usually planning for retirement, not a new baby."

Beside him on the couch, he could tell she had straightened. He looked over to see an odd gleam in her blue eyes.

"Maybe that's exactly what we do. We put in our time at the FBI. We've both done other work and we have money saved away. Why don't we buy something on a lake in the middle of nowhere? Off the grid and everything? Like that Caribbean trip," she suggested. He was briefly distracted by mentioning the Caribbean trip. It was one of the happiest times they ever had together.

"Really?"

Scully nodded. She was serious. After twenty-five years, they were both ready to put the X-Files behind them for good and start this new chapter. He put an arm around her. His anger from earlier, from being lied to, was gone.

"Then, I'm in, too."

May 20, 2018

The constant buzzing woke Scully from her sleep. Then, she felt the bed grow lighter as Mulder left it. Ishmael looked up, concerned.

"Tad?"

"And how many are dead?"

"Really?"

"Yeah"

"No, thanks for the heads up," he said before throwing the phone on the bed where he was lying. The dog stood up and moved closer to Scully.

"What is it?"

"Someone's been tying up all the loose ends of the syndicate and the consortium, but not in the usual way. Most weren't even killed, just thoroughly humiliated. All their secrets are revealed," Mulder explained and looked at her. She knew his question without his having to ask it.

"It's William. I could tell he was up to something but not what he was doing," she confirmed.

"I've seen firsthand how capable he is of defending himself but it still worries me," Mulder admitted. She held up a hand for him to come back to bed. With the same information, she still worried, too. Ishmael licked her face. After Daggoo had gone to live with Tad and with everything that had happened, Scully found herself wishing for the normalcy of a dog. Mulder had gone with her to pick out Ishmael: a small mutt that resembled a long haired Corgi.

August 9, 2018

It was probably stupid. It's not like he had any real right to come here. They had tried hard not to be found. The deed had been sold to a George E. Hale. Online, the current inhabitants were listed as Rob and Laura Petrie. He already had skills from his blog at finding things out but this year had shown how much better he needed to be. Flashes of blood and his other skills came to mind. He tried to shake them away as he walked along a discrete pathway to the entrance.

He took the form of a sweet old man but not Asian like they had seen him before. As he knocked on the door, he rehearsed his story about needing to use their phone. After a few knocks, it opened to reveal Mulder.

"Hello, my vehicle broke down-"

He was interrupted as Mulder wrapped his arms around him and hugged him.

"William."

William knew the security that they had put into their property. He should be safe so he changed his appearance back to normal.

"How did you know it was me?" he asked.

"I just knew," he said, directing him into the house. "She should be waking up soon, having a nap."

"It's beautiful up here. The lake and trees, they...they remind me of where I grew up," William spoke. He hated how it made the other man sad but it made William sad, too. Inside, he still felt like Jackson who lost his parents. However, he was also William who had parents.

"You could stay," Mulder offered. "Be our built-in babysitter, for free."

"I'm just kidding, we'd pay you. Is 25 cents an hour still the going rate? That's what I tried to argue with my parents over," Mulder explained. William had tried his best to read up on them. Mulder had a sister once before she went missing.

A pink bunny was sitting on the couch. He had suspected the baby would be a girl. When he was growing up, he had always wanted siblings. Wasn't that something most only children wanted? Maybe it would have just made him feel that much more out of place, like he didn't belong...

Either way, it was just as well, they'd be dead, too.

No, he couldn't stay now either.

He shook his head.

"I still have names. I haven't gotten them all and it's not safe until it's done," he said before shaking his head again.

Mulder looked so old then, so sad.

"You were never supposed to clean up after our mistakes."

"I know, I know you tried-"

"Not hard enough," Scully argued. He turned to see her walking towards them. William had tried to keep track of dates. He thought she must be on her last month or so before the birth. It was so odd to see her this way. Her belly was so big on such a small frame. "At least sleep here tonight and you can leave in the morning."

William couldn't argue with that. He nodded and Scully sat down on the couch. A smile crossed her face and she touched her stomach.

"What is it?"

"She's kicking," she explained and Mulder joined her in touching her stomach. William was curious but he wasn't sure if that would be weird. He'd never felt a pregnant belly before. Scully seemed to know what he was thinking. She waved him over and he put a hand where she showed to. William wasn't sure if it was a foot but something pressed against his hand in response. He laughed. It was so weird that there no words for it but he felt so much love for this person that wasn't even born. He'd make sure nothing happened to her.

February 23, 2019

William could hear the crying before he knocked on the door. As soon as it opened, she was thrust into his arms. He was kind of in shock and so was she. The girl stopped crying to stare at him and he stared back. She wasn't quite bald. There was red here and there. Her blue eyes were intense. Both were like Scully but there was something about the face that definitely reminded him of Mulder.

"We tried everything but she wouldn't stop crying," Mulder explained, letting him in the door.

"Guess she likes me," William spoke voicing the idea as ridiculous as he found it. They had never even met before except for that one day.

"Is it done or is this just for my birthday?" Scully asked. He was glad he hadn't come sooner and was pleased to tell her the truth, "Both."

The baby babbled and drooled down her dinosaur snuggie. Mulder and Scully both smiled which made him feel good.

"That's Maggie, she came on my birthday," Mulder explained. She said more nonsense words at the sound of her name.

"Hi, Maggie, I'm-"

He stopped. What were they to each other? They shared the same biological mom so they were siblings but did he really have that right?

He hadn't been there for her. He tried to get her parents to stop caring about him. He couldn't even decide whether he was Jackson or William.

"Tired," Scully suggested. "Do you have any backpacks or anything to bring in?"

He nodded.

"Mulder, why don't you take Maggie and I'll get him settled?" she offered and that was that. He noticed how she didn't say his name.

Scully took his backpack and he followed after her, half thinking this was a mistake. She set it down in the same spare bedroom that he had slept in before. Once again, he wondered if they had chosen this many bedrooms with him in mind.

"You were right to send me away when I was baby. I had a good life. They were good people until I got them killed. I just would have gotten you killed, too, if you hadn't given me up and I would have grown up in a lab," he spoke. It was the truth and he felt she needed to hear it spoken aloud. He'd thought about it a lot.

Dammit.

She started crying and if that went on too long, he might start crying so he took her in his arms. It was the first real human contact since his last visit before Maggie had even been born. He let her put her fingers through his hair and he could tell she was smirking at the length. It had been months since it'd been cut and he could probably pass for a Sasquatch or something.

"I could trim it," she suggested. "What would you like?"

He thought for a moment. For so long, he had no choices. He ate what he could get and slept where he wouldn't be noticed. His disguises were what were most convenient. Now, that was over and he was...an unknown.

"I don't know," he admitted. It was like he had hurt her again from her flinch. Scully bit her lip and flipped the hair out of his face.

"When we first came here, it was hard. It was so slow with nothing to do," she said with a smile. "We had to let other people do things and find new things; less dangerous, fewer aliens."

Nothing...it kind of sounded nice. He knew what that felt like once. His other parents had suggested pages of activities if he had complained about being bored. He couldn't remember the feeling though.

"Stay here as long as you need," she said, walking away. He watched her nearly reach the door. Over the past year, he understood even more what they had done for him. They loved him and he hoped he could learn how to love again, too. He didn't think he could ever be normal but maybe he could have something similar.

"Mom."

She turned around. It didn't sound quite as awkward as he thought it might. Part of him really liked saying it. She looked at him. He looked back. It felt like it would be ruined by any more words. She knew.

She understood and gave him one more smile before closing the door behind her.

March 8, 2020

In another hour or two, the sun would be going down. In the meantime, they were enjoying the dock. Maggie had on her little life vest in case she fell off. Her red hair was long enough for two pigtails. Sometimes, he wondered what he would look like with red hair and practiced in the mirror. She slapped his leg and ran. He ran after her and caught up with her at the very end.

"Got you!" he yelled and threw her in the air. She squealed in delight before catching their audience watching them on lounge chairs.

"Come on, daddy!" Maggie yelled.

"Yeah, come on, dad!" he screamed before realizing what he said. It felt right though.

At this, Mulder got up and so did Scully so that all four were chasing each other over the dock and surrounding area.

"I think you need a new diaper," Scully announced. Maggie shook her head.

"No," Maggie argued, shaking her head. She was being so stubborn that it was obvious that Scully was right. After giving her a chance to admit it, Scully picked Maggie up and started carrying her to the house. He caught the look she gave Mulder and how he moved closer.

"We can't help noticing how much better you look. You're acting basically normal. You're going to leave soon, aren't you?" Mulder asked. He nodded. Part of him never wanted to leave.

"I can't stay. I just feel like there's more out there. I miss my blog. I miss exploring but I love you guys," he admitted. Ishmael had run back after following Scully and Maggie halfway to the house.

"You'll always have us but we can get you fake documents to finish high school or go to college or a passport, whatever you need."

He knew they meant it and he did have some ideas about where to go next.

"Listen, you don't have to call me dad just because Maggie does. I know we're really half-brothers so she's your half-sister slash niece," Mulder babbled. Damn, was he good at ruining things. Scully had really undersold that.

"Don't," Jackson said, trying to be firm. "I've learned a lot these past few years. One of those things is that a parent isn't the one trying to hurt you, not a real one anyway. A real parent is the one who would die for you, who would sacrifice everything for you. He tried to kill you. He tried to kill me. He doesn't deserve any of us talking about him ever again. Your real dad was the one that raised you and me...I've had two real moms and two real dads: one of them is right in front of me. "

Mulder looked away, towards the lake but Jackson had meant it. He couldn't help watching them with Maggie and imagining what it would have been like if things had been different.

After a moment, he joked, "You know you named your daughter after a Simpsons character."

Mulder smiled and retorted, "No, your grandmother came first. I wish she could have seen you again. She always mentioned you."

"Doesn't mom have brothers?"

There was a pause before Mulder admitted, "They don't like me very well and they didn't take the news about Maggie well either."

Jackson couldn't imagine doing that to Maggie even though he had done awful things in the past. When he was first learning to control his powers, he had been an asshole especially to his girlfriends. It was shameful just remembering that he had girlfriends at the same time without what he had done to them. For a time, he had blamed his father or the one who claimed to be as he smoked in the shadows. But Mulder was proof that it didn't need to be that way, Jackson could be better. He tried so hard to change into the young man that all four of his real parents would be proud of.

However, it was easy to be that way when hunting people down or hidden in the middle of nowhere like this. The real test would be among real people again.

"Jackson!" Maggie screamed, bringing him out of his thoughts. She was running far ahead of Scully towards them. He was going to miss being around her every day. Jackson really enjoyed being a brother.

June 18, 2028

My full name is Margaret Katharine Mulder and I know my childhood hasn't been exactly normal. I'm homeschooled but when I am around other children; their parents are much younger than mine. They always call my dad, "Grandpa" which isn't nice. There are other things that aren't adding up but I have a plan. My parents are visiting my brother for two weeks and I'm going to make him tell me everything.

I have the coolest brother. He runs a magazine called, **The Lone Gunmen**. It has weird stuff. I'm not supposed to read it. They had an argument once over whether to let me read it and the site has a password on it.

"Come on, we can't have a date night if we never leave," their dad pointed out in her brother's living room. It used to be a rundown building but he fixed it up so he could live in it and run his magazine there. He lives all the way out near Washington, DC.

"No sushi," their mom muttered. She and Jackson waved bye to them. Maggie felt she was too old for hugs and stuff all the time. She was nearly ten, after all.

Jackson did something with the security and turned back to her. Her brother had red hair just like she and mom did but green eyes like dad.

"Okay, what do you want?" he asked.

She thought about playing innocent except he knew her too well. After a deep breath, it all sort of tumbled out.

"What did mom and dad do for the government? Why do they get weird if I watch something with aliens? How come they don't have any real friends? Why did I hear you mention your 'other parents' once? What happened to our aunts? How come you have two other last names that aren't Mulder?" Maggie asked. There would have been more but she ran out of air.

At first, he didn't look at her. Then, he sat down on the couch. After a moment, he asked, "Have you asked mom and dad about it?"

She shook her head. After what happened with The Lone Gunmen, she didn't even want to ask.

Jackson sighed.

"They're just trying to protect you. They don't want you to go through what the rest of us did," he said, not looking at her. She knew most siblings weren't nearly twenty years apart. Ishmael claimed her lap.

"Just give me something," she pleaded.

"Well...I don't want you looking where you shouldn't be so I guess...I'll tell you what I can," Jackson told her and sat down on the couch next to her. "First of all, the FBI used to investigate strange thing; things nobody could explain. They called them 'the x-files. Dad was in charge of it but they didn't like him. They wanted someone to rein him in so they picked this brand new FBI recruit...that was mom. This was over twenty-five years ago and..."


End file.
